Again, since taking several hundred pictures over Spring break, I haven't taken my camera out of the bag. However, I thought I would mix it up a little bit and journal some of my thoughts (let's see if you can see how quickly my brain jumps topics). This might be a long blog.
For the past few months, I've gotten into the habit of turning off the television on most nights and instead reading books. Although difficult at first, this has been an incredible experience. Turning on the television now almost seems noisy (unless it's football-related or The Office).
Like good Americans, we spend the majority of our days consumed with busyness, tasks, lists, and we often move at a dizzying speed. Why is this? Why do we have so much trouble enjoying the moment instead of filling our thoughts with regrets for the past or anxiety for the future? What a maddening cycle. When I am consumed with regret and anxiety, I miss so many incredible things that God puts before me. For example, as a high school guidance counselor, I've realized the power of a conversation or word of encouragement with one of my students. I could tell you stories that would blow you away regarding God putting me in the perfect place and using me to literally save my students. I know this description is very vague, but the timing and circumstances of the events are more than random coincidence... I believe that God is at work and sometimes He decides to use me. He doesn't need to use me, but He does anyway. Humbling.
In other news, the kids are doing great, but they grow up
so fast. Ansley is now into playing with dolls and doing her best to add new words to her vocabulary (this is a very frustrating process for her), Kennedy continues to get way too old, and parenting continues to have its share of joys and challenges. I think that through parenting, God teaches us how little control we really have in our lives (especially for our kids). We can provide the safest and most nurturing environment, but we couldn't stop the febrile seizure that Kennedy had when she was 16 months old, which was one of the scariest experiences we could imagine. Although it can be scary to realize we have little control over our lives, it is very "freeing" when we put our faith in God to provide all of our needs. Parenting has also taught me how selfish I am... and trust me, God has a sense of humor. A few years ago, I had major issues sharing my food with anyone (I know, strange), but now my kids eat off my plate like birds. To them, food on my plate is an invitation to snack! I'm embarrassed to admit that this annoyed me at first, but now I love it. Parenting is a process of learning to put the needs of others before yourself. Wouldn't it be great if the whole of humanity lived each day with this concept? Love your neighbor as yourself? wow.
Finally, a shout to: 1) anybody who actually through this entire entry; 2) my friends and family who we are overwhelmingly blessed by; and 3) my wife Molly, who amazes me every day in her dedication and love for me, her family, our kids, our neighbors, the kids in the crawler's ministry at church, her coworkers, the list goes on. During our first 6-hour date at The Duck during our senior year at DePauw University, I knew 2 things: 1) "I will marry this girl", and 2) "She will be the best mom." And yup, they are both true. She will be embarrassed when she reads this, but it's okay.
I'm in a sentimental mood tonight and I'm sure you can sense this from this long and disjointed email. God is good... all the time. Goodnight.
